Father from the heart

I don’t think it’s that unusual to have several fathers, or is it?

My birth father Larry was exceptionally talented and good looking. I wish he was still alive today. He died rather young because of two medications that didn’t jive, erupted in his stomach and killed him, he was only 45. He played flute, piano, guitar and sang. He had a band with my mom called Severed Hands of the Severed Mind. I don’t have any of those recordings. That was in the 60’s.


When my mom remarried Tom SEVERAL years later it was on a beach. She married this guy who loved to dance. He came from Indiana, where he studied art. I was probably 6 or 7 years old. Tom would spend hours with me drawing. Later in my teens he spent hours teaching me Hatha yoga. He is NOW one of Tucson, Arizona’s most well known Hatha yoga teachers. During this relationship, the astounding, bright and brilliant Jade Twilight was born!!


When the relationship to Tom ended my mother spent 16 years with Ron. I was about 13 when my mom and I would go listen to Ron play music at clubs. She sat in and played flute. He’d play his guitar and sing like there was NOTHING going to stop him. I’ll never forget how he’d rock his body to the rhythm of his guitar, while his smile took up his WHOLE face. He influenced all of us to move to Mexico. He still has a place in Yelapa. I was taught songwriting and guitar rhythm style from him.


There was a “Love Ceremony” when she married Rigoberto. A beautiful man from Veracruz. The two of them created quite a duo with classical music. I visited them while they lived on a ranch near Puerto Vallarta. Rigo helped me record and video “3 Generations”.


My Godfather David was there from the beginning and to this very day! He came with his wife Jetta to Germany when I was born. He carried me on his back in a backpack. While in Germany while I slept he let my mom and Jetta perm his hair. These days he drives a Harley…well, it’s in storage while he recovers from spine surgery. It was because of him that I loved convertibles. He ALWAYS had one. His most famous line to me “create your OWN mantra!”.


Chew slow, be happy and EAT chocolate!


I LOVE chocolate, don’t you? Of course you do!! If you don’t you’re NOT human. I bought this bag of chocolate today and boy, did it satisfy an amazing craving I had. So much for the advice “when you have a craving for something sweet, go ahead and walk around the block and when you come back see if you still want it”. Well heck yeah I still want it! Are you crazy?
After I have chocolate or something REALLY yummy I usually feel like Robert Downey, Jr. in Iron Man, where instantly I am all suited up and ready for take off. That must be powerful stuff eh? The bad part is I usually “crash” after the rush. What do you do when you “crash”? Here’s what I do. I usually run around in a circle 3 times, do the mexican hat dance and then drop! I don’t get up until I feel certain that someone else has polished off the rest of the chocolate…or sometimes what I do is I holler from the next room as I lay sprawled out on the carpeted floor…”will someone PLEASE hide the rest of those chocolates”.
And then after a day or so I am begging “will you tell me where you stashed those chocolates?” “I am okay now, really I am”. I blame this inconsistency entirely on my family tree.


One of my favorite movies as a child was “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory”. Our long time family friend Brian McCue actually looks like Gene Wilder. (pictured above with another of my favorite people Chandika). I think I probably watched the movie “Like Water for Chocolate” a dozen times and cried my eyes out! So many times I thought it would be fantastic to open a chocolate shop like that woman did in the movie “Chocolat”.
You probably wonder “why in the world is she buying Hershey’s chocolate?”. Here’s my answer “Because it was there”. Believe me, I used to ONLY buy organic dark chocolate from Whole Foods. I’ve loosened up SOOOO much since having Paloma and ya know what it FEELS GREAT! Anyhow…I just recently read an article from Hershey’s chocolate that said “chocolate more nutritious than fruits”. What??? With that said…I’m NOT one of those “believe everything you hear, read type gal”. In the meantime…I’ll be saving my pennies to open a chocolate shoppe built in a treehouse! Yes. I think I’ll name it “Wild Child Turtledove Chocolate”. Too long? Okay, how about “Beaming Smile Chocolate”? Perhaps not so good if we had to shorten it, that would be “BS Chocolate”. Probably NOT a big seller I’m thinking. I’ll leave you with a fun quote I read somewhere “Nuts take up space where chocolate ought to be”.

Just an ordinary day…or WAS it?


Well after the last screaming child in public incident I decided to venture out all on my own today! The baby seat you see behind me is EMPTY. Paloma stayed home with her adoring father. So, how do I entertain myself??? I’m free to go anywhere…do WHATEVER!

I drove myself to downtown Holland. I LOVE it there. There are outdoor cafe’s, fudge shops, breweries, pizza shops, Aveda salon, crazy expensive baby stores, ice cream and yoghurt shops and of course coffee shops. It was lunch time and the cafe’s were hustling with people on their breaks. There’s also a music store downtown, so I stopped in to pick up bass strings for William. It’s a VERY small music store, but they have EVERYTHING you would need. The guy behind the counter looked like a musician. He had dreads down to his belt buckle.

After the music store excitement, I went to the Aveda salon and just had a trim. The same ol’ thing I do with my hair EVERY time! To tell you the truth, I just wanted someone to pamper me. Plus, it’s kind of like a therapy session, except I was bummed, because this stylist didn’t want to talk. She didn’t ask me any questions except “what are we going to do with your hair today?”. I tried starting a conversation…”So, you’ve been busy today?” (what a boring question I thought to myself) She said “Yes”. She was focused on trimming my hair. Okay…the conversation ended. I closed my eyes and daydreamed!!!!

I daydreamed that I was living in a cool climate, where there were forests and beaches, that I was IN LOVE, had a baby, that I was writing songs and playing violin, making black bean burgers, growing catnip and I had an ability to make funky weird faces and….oh WAIT….that’s NOT a dream…it’s happening!!!

Experiencing baby screaming in public for the first time! Yikes!


By looking at this photo you probably wouldn’t suspect this little girl would be ANYTHING but a cutie pie. Well, she truly is! BUT…I took her to my 2nd cousin’s piano recital yesterday afternoon and I discovered the unpopularity of bringing your baby with you.

Oh Yes! I was looking forward to an outing…just me and Paloma enjoying an afternoon of music. So, as I was leaving William said…”you sure you want to take her?” I quickly said “absolutely”. He said “okay, as you wish”. We had to wake her up from a nap. Soon she was strapped into the car seat, I had ALL the essentials we needed. Her eyes were wide open and she looked content. Away we went. Zoom. Bota bing!

We get to the beautiful church. Since she outgrew the baby knapsack carrier thing, I decided to just carry her in my arms. I think she’s at least 22 pounds now, so she is HEAVY!! My aunt Linda greets us ( I LOVE her by the way, she’s AMAZING! ) along with my famous uncle Steve, my mom’s brother. We all sit down. I put Paloma on my lap. She is happy for the first 20 minutes. I’m entertained by her looks as she is trying to take in the applause after the songs. She starts getting REALLY wiggly and lets out a little scream. And then another. Okay, this is going to bother the crowd. I take her diaper bag, hoist her on my hip and I’m OUT the door to the bathroom.

Luckily there was one of those pull down diaper changing stations. I haven’t used one before. So as soon as I put her on it, she SCREAMED so loud I thought the mirrors were going to crack. I hurried as fast as I could. Then it was time for me to use the bathroom. It was very comical, because I had no where to put her. I was HOPING someone would come in and I could ask them to hold her for a second. No one came.

Williams words came into my head “you sure you want to take her?”. By the time I get back into the recital it’s just about over. Paloma and I hang out in the back while she feeds on a bottle. There was an announcement that cookies and punch would be served in the lobby. We get in line, talking to people. All of a sudden Paloma flips out and cries her face off. Trying to have a conversation while holding a baby that is having a fit is insane. I try and excuse us while I take big strides to a back room. Eventually she calms down and I go back into the lobby where people are enjoying their sweets and conversation. Somehow I’m trying to have Paloma drink some of the punch out of the cup. A woman comes up and tries to introduce herself. Paloma AGAIN screams like she is being murdered! Everyone in the room looks at me and her. This is obviously my exit cue. “You sure you want to take her?” I hear Williams voice.

Sweet tooth Sue


I was just about ready to kick back and watch a movie. I changed my mind. I seem to do that a lot. I love the fact that I can. I wasn’t going to have a piece of cake tonight, but I did. I have ALWAYS had a sweet tooth. Probably all started when I got caught buying Twinkies at the corner 7 Eleven when I was 9 years old. Our family was one of those vegetarian families that didn’t buy sugar, meat or flour. I’m NOT complaining, it has been a COLORFUL life! Well, now since I had that cake I’m wound up and realize that I do have some work to do before I go to bed.

What does this picture have anything to do with what you just read??? huh? Nothing! Here we go. I was about 12 years old here. Me, my mom and my sister. We’re sitting on the top bunk of our bunk bed. That’s a weird word. If you say it real fast over and over it sounds really strange, bunk, bunk, bunk, bunk, bunk, bunk, bunkbunkbunk….

These were sweet days. My mom had us living in this place behind Safeway in Tucson, Arizona in exchange for cleaning “The Crocket’s House”. The guy who lived next door owned an ice cream truck and drove it around. He also collected “stuff”. His house was LOADED with STUFF!!! Inside, outside…everywhere. A true “hoarder”. It takes all kinds on this planet ya know. Hey Sapphire, let’s bring this story back to somewhere….

But…truly these were sweet days, eventhough we didn’t have much. We had eachother. My mom bought all my clothes from the very hip Goodwill store. My sister Jade never cared if she had clothes. She prefered to run around naked anyways…making up dances and eventually she’d drop to the floor in a pool of sweat!

So, I’m reminiscing as I look at this photo…remembering. There actually were days when there were NO cell phones, NO laptops, NO GPS, NO Walmart’s, NO credit cards. I wonder what ever happened to that hoarder guy who lived next door to us. If you come across him, please tell him hi for me and I’d really like to have one of those bullet ice creams!